Little spoons don't ask big questions
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
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