Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
