She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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