Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
