So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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