shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
