I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm sobbing to NWA
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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