end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
