C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
It's blow job season.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
