I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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