i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Farmville is her only friend.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
