Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
