well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
