I feel great
I just peed on a car
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
