he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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