i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
