I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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