i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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