i would punch a child for taco bell
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Let's paint friendship bongs
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
