He asked to "fluff my boner.."
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it glows. i had to have it.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize