I think my fart just growled at me.
I need to stop coming to work sober
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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