I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
