The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
