Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
