I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
