Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Damn victory sex feels great
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
