dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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