you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
