Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
