the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
