Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize