Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
