i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
