If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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