they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
