They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Did I show you my penis last night?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I could fuck to npr.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
