I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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