wat bout pragnant strippers??
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
The feeling are messing with the penis
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