did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
