why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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