i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize