Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
