We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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