yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
