I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
