I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
