The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
