Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
