I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
