Pants 0. Shit 1.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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