Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize