gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
It's never too late to be topless.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
