It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
please come you make the beer taste better
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
