I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
