I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
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