Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
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