Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
