Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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