After last night, I could never be a politician.
This house was built for laser tag.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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