Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
