doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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