he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
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He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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