great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
