all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I FOUND THE LEGS
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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